secrets

hmm long time no BLOGGIE ;D i need some practice. so i had originally decided i would do lil bloggies here n there on those every-other-sunday mornings when my kids are with the other 'parent', and my super awesome bf is fishing or hunting or engaging in some other manly activity. but LATELY... the oddest things been happening: my boyfriend kind of likes me around. it's pretty neat. i dont really try to count on it or anything and i never point it out, but i do get that tummytickle- shoulderscrunchy- AWWW smiley going, when it's saturday night n he's all "so tomorrow.. what do YOU want to do?" he's pretty awesome. n he always kisses my forehead n my cheeks n hes super sweet when it comes to trying to think of something to say-- like the other day, i came over to his house n showed him my hair (i got highlights) n i said i ddnt like them bc they looked kind of goldy- stripey and HE SAID THIS: 'oh i dont know, they accent your lips..'
this was even in the same room as his brother. who actually choked on something.
i was shocked. like my jaw dropped. his brother turned and we looked at each other. in shock. then his bro said 'oh man, you are so good for my brother!" ;D i know right? ;D too funny.

oh right, i totally digressed there. in a fairly vomit-inducing way im sure. so sorry.

ANYWAYSsssss... i had this idea to throw out like my top ten silly secrets. i dont believe its in any kind of order. just rather, first come first serve. here u go ;D

1. i wish i had a british accent. i wish i at least knew someone who did. there IS this one lady who is a higher- up sort of person at my work, and everytime i see her im so disapointed because she totally LOOKS british. but no accent whatsoever. she's got the overite, the houndstooth vest and white shirt,the wierd undone- curly hair and im certain she's got a dog she loves more than her nephews n neices, but no accent.

2. i know i need to lose 18 damn pounds. i know how to accomplish this. i know exactly how much to eat of WHAT and how much f/ing bloody cardio activity i need to engage in. i just prefer margaritas is all. and candy. and sitting to running. sitting. yeah. sitting. ;D

3. i used to want to be just like janet jackson. she did that one video back when i was prbly like 11 or 12 and she jumps on this chair and then makes it just kind of slowly go down over backwards n that ws the COOLEST thing i ever seen. i was a big fan of ummmwhatshername black chic with AMAZING vocal powers n got into coke n married bobby brown. WHITNEY HOUSTON. LOVED HER. she was AMAZING.

4. that was way before the nipple piercings tho. just sayin.. about jackson i mean ;D

5. i let my six year old watch family guy and sing along to hip hop. i let my teenager attend alternative school, wear blue eyeshadow and cuss. im really not the best at this mothering biz.. but i do make up for it with some fairly interesting insight. and candy. and AND- i might add: i havent left them in the rain on an orphanage step yet.

6. one week out of the month im insanely insecure and i cry. alot. i have learned to avoid blogging during this time at least. i hope u all are grateful for that. this is the time of the month when im certain i will never be good at my job, and my kids will always lack for what i cant provide for them, and my skin is only going to become less and less attractive, i should break up with my boyfriend bc he will never ever say he loves me. the wierd part: i dont menstruate. i just get that wonderful emotional rollercoaster. got to LOVE the merena. please believe.

was this TMI?? is there such a thing? let me know.

7. my boyfriend bought me one of those mattress- cover thingys for valentines day.. and i really DID appreciate it ;D i did go out and by myself a moderately gaudy bauble, however chances are i would have done that anyways.

8. i prefer male hairstylists to male manicurists. there is just SOMETHING not right about getting a mani - pedi from some 19 year old vietnamese kid with a blinged out necklace and skater shirt on. i was civil and appreciative and a good customer. i found out he's putting himself through pharmacy tech school. good for him man. but still, i didnt let him massage my legs. which is a big part of doing the whole pedi experience. i just couldnt. it would have been... wrong.

9. subway makes the best chocolate chip cookies. i used to go there and by a veggie wrap so i could justify buying a cookie. then it was two cookies. thankfully the madness finally stopped when they discontinued the 'wraps' and introduced the 'flatbread'. which is not really transferable to a veggie-- thingy. my friend whitney did bring me to quizno's tho and they do have some dang good salads. havent tried the cookies yet tho.. im scared.

10. i always cry for my mom when i throw up. this happened just like three weeks ago. in a charter fishing boat on the ocean. in front of my boyfriend. and ten other strange men. i did catch the biggest fish, but that ddnt stop me from puking my guts out and crying like a bitch.