fat wednesday

this will be short. im cold and sweaty. i was running but that one father figure called and so i had to get off the treadmill exactly three minutes short of my 30 minute goal. BUT: my distance was 2.1 miles. thats a whopping thirteen minutes per mile people.

ANYWAYS: today: weightwatchers. unbeFREAKINGlievable. i actually gained 1.something pounds in the last week. that sucked. i am moderately competetive which is why when i hear other people losing weight, and im not, im not happy for them. not completely. im a little bit pissed inside. this is not an emotion im proud of. however it did make me get on the treadmill though..

after weightwatchers all i really wanted to do was go to my cubby and eat licorice feel sorry for myself in peace. i didn't get to do that tho. there was this whole dramatic email wrangling i had to go through regarding my coed volleyball team. we started on consisting of four couples. on the deadline day which was two fridays ago. THEN on the monday we got an email from the coordinator stating there were two more last minute girls added on. as in: they were added on the MONDAY after the DEADLINE day. and let me be clear- it was ME that scrambled around that whole day making a team of eight. and feeling pretty dang good about it in the end. so ok fine, two more girls. i try to contact them like three times and no. response. whatsoever. i know they READ the damn emails but they for whatever reason didnt want to respond. that's not cool. neither did they choose to come to the team planning meeting the weekend after. so what the hell? do i have to put up with this? especially when it means if they DO show to games there will be four people rotating out every game. which means all of us will have significantly less playing time. which is NOT what any of us paid money for-- to sit and watch the damn game.
so it took today about eight emails and one or four IM conversations for the coordinator to understand that if the other two nonresponsive girls stayed on the team, then two couples were actually going to back out of the team and we wouldnt have enough MEN to make it a COED team. this was not what i had in mind when i accepted the position of 'captain'. i thought all i had to do was flip the damn quarter and sign the roster. maybe set up some practices. this whole thing was awkward and exhausting and now i have to take the coordinator out to lunch to make it right with HER. because i like her and this sucked for her too.

so THEN.. after work i went and got my face zapped. do you know about electrolosis? fun times. This means those little soldiers are gone from my chin and eyebrows, to return NEVERMORE. mkay it really is a form of torture though: the lady sticks this tiny tiny little filament right next to the hair down the shaft into the follicle or whatever, then zaps it three times. you hear a 'beep beep beep', you FEEL a 'zap zap zap', you try very hard NOT to curse or claw through the bench. especially when it is your upper lip. let me be clear: i have TWO tattoos both of which were moderately time consuming, over bone areas, and not exactly a walk in the park but ooooohhhhh MOMMY, the lip area is one ouchy place. it actually wasn't so bad today, as in i managed to get through it without crying or flinching or biting anything. my orignial idea when i started this was to begin at the top (my face) and work my way.. down. now, im less and less thrilled with that. im just visualizing getting through one session at a time.

then i went to get the six year old and then to the post office and today she was really very particularly six. her entire conversation consisted of requests:

'mommy can i have a pink ipod?'
no.
'why not?'
because.
'mommy can i have a laptop?'
no.
'when im sixteen can i have a laptop?'
no.
'why not?'
because.
'mommy can i play nintendo when we get home?'
no.
'why not?'
'because i cant find the pluggy thingy for it ok?'

let me be clear: she already knows why not to all these things. she's just trying to brainwash me into zombie mother. it is tolerable most days and sometimes i do find it stimulating to outthink her (sad, i know) but today, i have to pee and my face hurts and its all red around my lip and brows and im very very aware of my muffin top thanks to the f/ing bloody lunchtime fatty club, and i just want to go get my mail and go home and pee. with my shoes off. in silence.

so i tell her to HUSH and lock her in the car and get my dang mail (which takes literally less than one minute people so dont judge me bc i HAVE timed it and i can see my car and how many other cars are in the parking lot= two, PLUS the back is tinted windows so no one else can see her. i AM a safety girl damnit) and coming out, a guy holds the door open for me as he's coming in and i try to say thank you while holding mail in front of my face but not looking like im trying to be ungrateful, and i get out and unlock my car when i hear and 'excuse me'--
and i turn around. and it's the door opener guy.

'i would like to just introduce myself' he says, coming forward and extending his hand to shake.

im freaking out. he is a guy approaching me in a parking lot, and ya he was black, but thats not why im freaking out. im freaking out bc i have to look at someone else IN THE FACE w/my DANG RED ZAPPY STASH .. and please remember, i still have to pee. and im worried he's either going to lecture me about leaving shana in the car or try to sell me something. and if i brush him off THEN he will think im doing that because of his skin and think im a racist when i really just have to pee. soo bad. did u know holding your pee can cause bladder infections? bc it CAN. this is serious medical issue people.

'hell with it' i think. im not going to create a negative self perception for somebody else just bc i am insecure whiny girl today. i toss the mail in the seat, lean forward, look him in the dang ol eyes and shake his hand.

he looked at my hand. and said 'oh, are you married?'

i have a ring on my left hand ring finger. not bc im married but bc its too big now for my right ring finger.

i was caught completely off guard. almost surprised enough to tell him the truth BUT.. i decided to stick with simplicity today. for pee's sake.

'yes i am' i say, and i smiled really big. he wasnt a bad lookin guy at all.

he apologized, and backed away with the 'no disrespect' posture. i said no worries and thank you. and smiled some more. he said 'good luck with that,' and i said 'you too man.'

he got into a nice shiny newer tahoe, and i got into my car, and went home and peed.

with my shoes off. ;D